The phrase ‘love is love’ means something like: All mutually felt romantic love is good (as long as it makes you happy). But the ethics of love cannot be determined by the mutuality of romantic feelings, or by whether or not the object of our desire makes us happy.
First, if what is good is whatever makes someone happy, then rapists, racists, serial killers, and pedophiles could claim that their evil desires and actions qualify as ethical because it “makes them happy.” Would anyone want to say to a pedophile or a murderer, “Do whatever makes you happy”? No. Just because something makes you happy doesn’t make it good, right, or loving.
Similarly, if the mutuality of romantic feelings were sufficient to deem a relationship ethical, then we wouldn’t be able to object to things we usually find reprehensible. For instance, we would lose any moral grounds for objecting to consensual romantic/sexual relationships between adults and minors or between family members.
It is neither morally nor legally permissible for an uncle to have a romantic relationship with his six-year-old niece, regardless of how she feels about it. So, the ethics of love, in particular romantic love, cannot be determined by the mutuality of romantic feelings. Rather, the ethics of romantic love are determined by God, His character, and His commands. The mutuality of romantic feelings are only good, therefore, if they make God happy.
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