Preaching Headstones: The Cemetery as Discipleship Opportunity

“When does he come back to life?” When I was three, I posed this question to my father as we stood above a fresh gravesite. The grave did not hold human remains but those of a chipmunk who died in our New Jersey yard. After suppressing a smile at my innocence, my dad told me this little chipmunk would not come back to life. Decades later, I still remember this sobering confrontation with the reality of death. When we confront the reality of death, we open new opportunities for discipleship.

Cemeteries Shape Perspective

Gravesites, pristine and dirty alike, powerfully convey the fleeting nature of this life. Confronting our mortality should cause introspection, but we should also embrace it as an opportunity for discipleship. This is especially true for parents whom the Lord tasks with discipling children. Deuteronomy 6:6-7 instructs parents in Israel: “These words that I am giving you today are to be in your heart. Repeat them to your children. Talk about them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up” (CSB). Christian parents living in the 21st century should likewise teach their children in both the dramatic and mundane moments of life. Let me suggest a new family adventure: stroll through your local cemetery. Here me out, strolling through cemeteries offers a powerful opportunity for discipleship in the vein of Deuteronomy 6:6-7.

Thanks to the relative peace, safety, and health of 21st century North America, children are not confronted with death as they were in the past. Parents in this context must, therefore, seek opportunities to confront death and shape the eternal perspective of their children. Cemeteries in the United States can aid in this heart-forming work. Many cemeteries include graves dating to the 18th and 19th centuries. Sadly, during this period, infants and children died at a much higher rate than today. Parents often buried multiple children. One North Carolina cemetery reveals seven little headstones all in a row (see photograph below). A family endured the death of seven children before the children reached two years old. Parents can teach their offspring about gospel hope when they see these heartrending headstones.

While hiking with my three children, we encountered a family burial plot in the woods. As a history enthusiast, I eagerly searched the cemetery to learn about the family. My four-year-old daughter asked about one grave in particular. The headstone honored a four-year-old girl who died in 1864. My daughter expressed surprise that a girl her age could pass away. The Lord brought this discipleship opportunity to us as we walked along a path. The grave of a four-year-old girl confronted my daughter with the reality and pain of death due to sin. But more importantly, we discussed the wonderful hope of the gospel — that Christ defeated sin and death.

Cemeteries Provide Gospel Hope

Many people consider cemeteries scary, dreadful places. Believers, however, can walk among headstones and consider the glory the departed faithful experience. This is a hope often expressed in scripture that graces headstones. Common passages include, “But I know that my Redeemer lives” (Job 19:25) and, of course, John 3:16, “For God loved the world in this way: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.”

General messages of Christian hope also adorn headstones. One may come across: “He died as he lived — a Christian,” “Not lost but gone before,” “Safe in the arms of Jesus,” “Alive in Christ,” or simply “Pax” (Latin for peace). What wonderful words to ponder as a family!

Artwork embellishes many headstones. A skull or face with wings, common 18th century headstone imagery, powerfully conveys the truth that, while death snuffs out this earthly life, new life in Christ awaits the believer. (One can avoid endorsing errant angelology while appreciating this artistic expression.) The cross holds pride of place on many tombstones. This Roman instrument of shame and torture now symbolizes the savior’s defeat of sin and death on his cross.

While such visuals can spur valuable discipleship conversations, long-form poetry on headstones can lead to even deeper discussion. Poignant poetry permeates historic cemeteries. Nineteenth-century stones often featured perspective-shaping, gospel-oriented verse. Perhaps the most powerful is, “Remember friend when you pass by. As you are now, so once was I. As I am now, so you must be. Prepare for death and follow me.” Parents — prepare your children for death by preaching the one message leading to eternal life. Repeat this message often, while sitting at home, walking on the road, or burying a chipmunk.

But consider the special opportunities cemeteries offer to preach the one message that makes graveyards not scary. This is the promise of eternal life with our loving Heavenly Father.