Creating an Intentional Space for Counseling

If you were to walk into my office, the first thing you’d see is a large, black filing cabinet with a textured blanket carefully draped across the top. You might notice a beige couch, small turquoise table, and the softest pink pillow imaginable. The room feels cozy, with soft warm light. The sitting area is separated from the wall of bookshelves by a desk. Outside the door, a sound machine drowns out external noise.

Why describe my counseling office in such detail? Because this is the space where I care for others in vulnerable moments. The space is intended to be warm and inviting, and I don’t want anything about the environment to be an obstacle for them.

I’ll never forget the first (and last) time that I counseled someone while sitting behind a desk. As an intern, I was using someone else’s office, and I thought I would look more authoritative if I sat in the big executive chair with shelves of books behind me. I wanted to look like an expert with valuable advice to give. After the appointment, I realized my choice was a terrible idea. To be frank, I simply fed my own pride. The experience felt sterile and distant, and I could have appeared intimidating or impersonal to the person sitting on the other side of the desk. I’ve learned to take great care in setting up a counseling space, considering the furniture arrangements, alternative lighting, and intentional choices in how I decorate the room.

And I haven’t always gotten this right. For example, I rearranged the office about a year ago, unfortunately putting the couch directly across from my bookshelves. Although I didn’t sit behind a desk this time, I could tell that the books were a significant distraction for several of the women I met with. I mean, who could blame them? Don’t we all love surveying someone’s book collection? (Just me? That’s okay.) I noticed the distractions happening frequently, so I made some adjustments. I wasn’t immune either. A large painting above the couch kept drawing my attention during meetings, so it had to come down. The wall actually looks a bit bare there now, but I have an easier time staying focused and engaged when I’m meeting with someone.

Why does any of this even matter? Most of us aren’t interior designers. But creating a hospitable space can reduce unnecessary obstacles for this delicate ministry of counseling. It communicates intentionality and care for this person, our neighbor.

Consider your own space: an office, a living room, a kitchen table. Where do you meet with others, especially for difficult or deeply personal conversations? What context is most conducive to the conversation? A noisy coffee shop may be your typical meeting spot, but consider how that setting impacts, or even limits, the conversation. Even a simple thing like a cluttered table can be distracting for you and for others.

If you have a specific space you use, like an office, what does it look like to be intentional with it? Practical things like tissues, comfortable seating, and a copy of God’s Word for both you and your counselee to use can communicate: “I’m here, engaged, and ready to meet with you. This is important to me.”

This is just one very minor aspect of what we might call counseling microskills: small tasks and choices that help strengthen the counseling relationship and facilitate change. You can also assess how you dress, your facial expressions, and body language as other means of minimizing obstacles in counseling. If I look like I barely got out the door and into the office in time for our meeting, have I even prepared mentally and spiritually for our time? Recognize that even things like sickness or fatigue will translate to our nonverbal communication.

In creating an intentional space for counseling, we’re asking the question: “How can I remove as many barriers as possible for this person? How can I communicate, both verbally and nonverbally, that they are cared for? Can these seemingly small and insignificant changes help them pursue Christlikeness as a result of our work together?” In doing so, we love our neighbor in a manner that communicates hospitality and compassionate care for them.